Csndu's advice is very good, I have read the book it helped me understand some of my feelings and some of what has happened in my life and why. One thing that was big to me was finding out that I was not the only one in this world that this has happened to. My depression was so bad it became life threating. This is when my wife stepped in, she had been seeing a therapist talked me into going with her. That was four years ago. Things can get better with willingness and effort. Each man moves forward at a different pace. Take care of yourself also. I and wife wish you and yours the best.
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it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.