Thank you for your reply, Pete. I appreciate the question you asked - am I trying to get my mother's love or desperately wanting to love another person because I can?

Honestly - both. They're still mixed together, and I just had insight that part of what compells me to find someone to love is an unquenchable thirst to be loved in a way I have never been loved - loved like a mother should have loved me.

I don't know how to separate (and heal) this.

Thanks again. I felt quite a bit better after reading your note and pondering the question and reminding myself that this thing called love is something I have yet to understand.

D
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It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM