I'm not offended at all, I appreciate the time you took to write and consider on it. Beyond that, I'm not sure what more I can contribute. I've never had the experiences everyone else seems to be taking for granted.
I've never come remotely close to a real romance. It's like a dimension I can't see or experience or something. I literally have never been in love, and I literally have never had a serious boyfriend.
The longest relationship I've had was an intensely dysfunctional relationship where I was sexually pursuing my best friend who was pretty ambivalent about his sexual feelings (he's straight but can't say "no"). It was a terrible relationship, lacking romance, and filled with unfulfilled desire. The relationship was also riddled with abuse and dominance.
Miraculously, 7 years after the relationship ended, he contacted me. 6 years later we're relearning how to be friends with each other and with healthy boundaries. I'm glad for that.
I'm not sure why I chose to share that. I guess its to demonstrate how far away I am from having ever experienced a romance. It's never appeared, and the false starts I've had all feel like mirages. I don't understand this whole 2-3 exciting dates where romance seems to be barreling down on us like a freight train where THE OTHER GUY! is driving the train, and then he just disappears.
I really don't get it. Honestly, this experience has made me feel retarded at times.
Edited by Magellan (07/11/13 10:25 PM)
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).