My wife and I have two healthy and happy kids. Our oldest is in elementary school and our youngest will start first grade this fall.

This past week, my wife's friend visited for a couple of hours with her 5 month old baby. The woman and her husband already have two kids who are about the same age as our own, so the latest edition was something of a surprise. We always thought two kids was plenty for us, but since my wife held her friend's baby, she has been holding up baby outfits and saying "how cute" they are. She says she doesn't want another baby, but it has really been a topic of conversation this week.

Here's the can I say this...I took one for the team after our son was born. I got a vasectomy almost seven years ago, so I can't give her another baby. The whole procedure was slightly triggering. We went through a period of wanting another baby about three years after I had the snip. We looked into a reversal, but the urologist said mine was not likely reversible because of the thoroughness of the original surgeon's handiwork. A reversal is expensive regardless of whether it works or not---so he told us to save our money.

My wife isn't asking for a baby, but I'm still feeling a bit off about the whole sterilization thing---seven years later. Logically, I know our family is complete, but I think just hearing an expert's opinion saying there's no way to put things back togther bugs me. They always warn guys to consider it permanent since reversals aren't guaranteed. It's an interesting mix of CSA(the way something was taken) twinges of regret, and turning 41 last month. I guess I need to just go ahead and buy that red convertible...if this is the first stirrings of middle age.

Except for my knees, I'm in good shape. I swim, hike, canoe and generally act like a big kid sometimes. I think I have a youthful outlook.

Just wondering out loud...

I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. ---FDR


Cruel Summer
My Journal