I'm reading a book about anti gravity. I can't put it down.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
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It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM