Originally Posted By: JoeSmith
....The one reliable thing about being a severe abuse victim survivor, is you can always count on the loneliness and despair, at least they will never leave you
But I think it is cathartic to show these older pictures, great idea.
Thanks for the picture Joe, Sorry you had to be here.

I think that showing the picture of men when they were molested and abused as kids shows the world the real face of the horror of CSA. It shows the size of the child when he was abused and how defenseless he actually was to any size adult. It shows the naivety of the child and how easily he was manipulated. It also shows the face of a child when he was introduced to the horrors of CSA and the age his inner-self disconnected from the boy he was supposed to be.

Originally Posted By: JoeSmith
....a picture of when I was around 6 yrs old, which would have been that "lost little boy". I mourn what he went through, and I mourn his figuratively speaking, "death"....
I look at my avatar of when I was 12 and look at a kid ("lost little boy") who ruined my life, changed my future and made me hide for 40+ years because of the person I really was. For him "taking the bait" hook, line and sinker, I still hold him responsible for what he went through for 9 years.

Now I face the prospect of making peace with that "lost little boy". Seeing the pictures add up here on this thread I can finally see that the "bait" used was specially developed for each kid. My "bait" was the overwhelming love I had for sfather (surrogate father) and the love that I still have for him. He gave me the world and the love my parents never gave me. The bait was his love for me and never being beaten by him like I was by my mother and never being ignored by him like I was by my father.

I still don't cry for him yet but I do cry for what he gave up in order for him to follow his own heart. The sports future he always wanted given up for a childhood of drugs, johns, photo sessions and movies. I do acknowledge now the fact that at times I thought I would end up dead. Maybe sold to someone else someplace and finally end up in a river or just disappear.

Thanks Joe, maybe one day I will hopefully cry for that "little lost boy".

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
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Stick around, It will get better....