Hi all. The following is the story of the events that took place on the night of 6/28/08. That was the night I was violently attacked (not sexually) and car-jacked while delivering pizza. It's also the story of how I wound up with a metal plate and some screws in my face.

As many of you know, I've spent most of my life living in the Atlanta area but from 6/04 to 7/09, I lived in Jacksonville, FL. While I was there, I made a living delivering pizza for Papa John's, a company I also worked at for several years before moving to Florida and also for a short time after moving back. During my five year tenure at the Jacksonville location, I was robbed at gunpoint on four separate occasions but only harmed on one of them. This is the story of that event.

It was about 10:30 PM. I had just finished a two-stop delivery and was headed back to the store. I came to a three-way stop at a small intersection in a middle class subdivision and found myself behind a silver Honda Civic. After a few seconds of waiting for the Civic to proceed through the intersection, I was getting impatient and was about to start honking. That's when a masked man emerged out of the passenger-side door.

I knew I was about to get robbed, so I threw my blue 2003 Kia Rio into reverse and pressed the accelerator. The masked man sprinted up to the driver side of my car and I slammed on the brakes, hoping I had enough time to throw the car back into drive, slip past the silver Civic, and speed away. This was a mistake.

The second I stopped the car, my assailant pistol-whipped me in the face through the open window and dove in over me to remove my keys from the ignition. While he was doing this, I was hunched over the center console, watching a solid stream of blood pour out of my face and all over the gear shift and emergency brake. Then, when he had the keys out of the ignition, he pulled me from my vehicle, made me lie on the ground and told me to empty my pockets.

At the time, my wallet was in my glove compartment and all I had in my pockets was my driver change bank, which at this point had dwindled to a mere $7. The two delivery orders I had just taken were both credit card orders, so there was no cash to be had from them.

I took the $7 I did have and tossed it back towards him as best I could while laying flat on my belly. He picked the $7 up and demanded, "Give it ALL up! I'll fuckin' shoot you, dawg!" I almost sarcastically responded, "Dude, I'm a pizza delivery guy! How much fucking money did you expect me to have?" (I know it may not be the best idea to overtly infer that a man who has a gun pointed at you is stupid, but that's just me.) With that, he picked up the $7, got in my car, and sped away into the night, along with his accomplice who was driving the Civic.

After the attack, I went to the nearest house and got them to call the police for me. The police found my car that same night, which the perp had driven less than a mile and ditched after stealing everything out of it he could, including my wallet, which he obviously had found in the glove compartment. As it turns out, that would be his undoing, but I'll get to that in a moment.

Although my car had been recovered, I was not allowed to have it back for several days while the police fingerprinted it and whatnot. The real kicker to all that is, I, THE VICTIM, was the one who had to pay the towing and impound fees for all of that before I was allowed to have my car back. Yeah, no shit. How fucked is that?

Fast-forward about three weeks and I was in the hospital having surgery to repair the broken bones in my face. Fortunately, workers comp covered 100% of this. The surgeons implanted a small plate as well as several screws into my Zygomatic Arch, (cheek bone) and also popped my badly broken nose back into place.

This is what I looked like about two days after the attack. I am not 100% comfortable leaving an adult pic of me on the public board, so I am going to remove it after the thread dies. If you are reading this past that point, let me know and I'll PM it to you.

(Photo removed)

(My nose isn't normally that crooked. That was from the pistol whipping. The surgeons were able to mostly straighten it back out.)

The good news is.... SHITHEAD GOT CAUGHT!!!!!! When I first realized he'd gotten my wallet that night, I was hella pissed! As it turned out though, that was a major blessing in disguise.

After ditching my car, this moron and his accomplice went all over town trying to use my credit cards. One of the places they stopped was a local Walmart. So, all the cops had to do was coordinate with the credit card company and the store to find out what register they had used the card at and at what time it was used. From that, they were able to pull up the surveillance footage of the perps at the register. From that, they were able to pull up the footage of them walking out of the store. From that, they were able to view the footage from the parking lot camera that got them getting in their little Civic and driving away, and, from that, a licence plate number. Because of his own stupidity, the guy who attacked me and broke my face that night is sitting in a Florida state correctional facility, with an earliest possible release date of 7/6/2020. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Here he is...

The Shithead Who Carjacked Me And Broke My Face

If I had the opportunity, there are a couple of things I'd like to say to this guy. One being... "Hey buddy, I hope that $7 was worth it! HA HA!"

Two being... "Look at you, Mr. Colon! Look how big and bad and scary you think you are, Mr. Gangsta! I'll bet you think you really got me that night, don't you? I'll bet you think you really traumatized me and scarred me, don't you? That's a fucking laugh! What you did to me was nothing. On a physical level, I'll always have this little scar on the left side of my face. 'Tis but a scratch', if you'll forgive me a shameless Monty Python quote. What you did to me affected me emotionally for no more than a few months. Sure, it took a while before I stopped looking over my shoulder every time I got out of my car, or stopped constantly checking my surroundings to look for threats like you, but that didn't last. Compared to the trauma of my childhood, you weren't/aren't shit. Compared to my abusers, you are nothing but a stupid, sub-human thug. Does that make you feel like less of a man? Do you realize that some young kids who were just older than me were 1000x worse than you could ever be? You aint shit, Colon. I'd rather relive your attack on my person 1000 times than relive my childhood. You're a joke. The only thing that even made you a little scary was that you had a gun. Oooooo.... you're so fucking tough! If you'd had any balls at all you would have emptied your clip into my brain and ended my miserable fucking life but you didn't have the balls, did you? Not even after I all but overtly made fun of you for being stupid enough to think a pizza guy would have more than a few dollars on him and did so while you were pointing the gun at me, threatening to kill me. Don't you realize I was daring you to shoot me when I said that? But you didn't. What a pussy! What a joke! Compared to the demons of my past, you aren't much of a demon at all, Colon. Nope. You're just a worthless street thug and a coward. Oh, and I hope that seven dollars was worth 12 years of your meaningless life, you fuck!"

So, that is pretty much it. That was the story of the time I was carjacked and pistol-whipped in the face while delivering pizza in Jacksonville, FL. It's funny how when I tell this story to people in real life, they listen in silent horror, but if I told them the basic details of my CSA, a lot of the same people would think what I told them was "not that bad". The reality of the situation is, the sexual/emotional trauma I experienced as a child damaged me and affected my life 1000 times more than this violent robbery did. Maybe even more than 1000 times. The difference is immeasurable. Give me a violent robbery assault any day. "Tis but a scratch!" That's all it ever could be. Take care all. Peace,

Ken


Edited by BraveFalcon (07/07/13 12:03 PM)