Hey JayBro,
I can really identify with your struggles. My CSA also involved child pornography, and I have a lot of issues around where to direct the anger to as well. There is such a vile web of evil people that create and distribute this stuff, not to mention all of the child and human trafficking. Sometimes it feels like that web is so big, that the efforts, let alone the anger of one person cannot even make a dent in it. And I think that unresolved anger can impact all of the other areas of your life. The anxiety, uncertainty, and anger all give fuel to each other like sparks and gasoline, and will just combust eventually.

When I mentioned this to my T, she suggested that it helpful to experience anger, but that I have to make sure to release it as much as you can from your body. Whether that be through meditation, exercise, releasing it to nature, or even a higher power. The key is to not let it stay trapped in your body, where it can become toxic. So when you do those releasing activities, to actively visualize it leaving your body. And to keep doing that every time it comes up. Don't know if you write, but journaling can really help with releasing anger. Just write out all your anger. Every bit of it. Then, rip the pages out and burn it if you feel like it.

I was really encouraged by the link Gary sent about the Supreme Court, and his suggestion of joining an advocacy group. That to me feels like a tangible way to make a dent in this huge web. I may look into that as well, once I feel ready. Thanks, Gary.


Todd
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein