Hi all, I'm a new member of this forum.
I have dated a survivor for about 3 months. And he has just shared with me he is a CSA very recently. Since that day I feel I obsess with this topic and I always analyze his behavior under the light of someone under child abuse mentality influence.

He is going through a rough time, trying to find a new job and trying to find a new rental place to live. But he has those issues because he quit his current job himself out of nowhere; and he quarreled with the current house owner over trivia thing.

He trusts me very much and he shares with me his frustration over the whole situation. I have been trying to be a good listener, to not judge him, and to validate his actions. I learned that survivors usually get themselves into troubles because deep inside they feel hurt and they want to punish themselves. But in my head I can't keep thinking that what he is doing right now is not really the best way. Do you think I should speak my mind and advice him, or should I just let him do what he wants to do, and just being there as a listener? Our relationship is new and I don't feel I have a place to tell him what he should do and what he should not do. I don't want him to feel controlled. And at the same time I feel it's hard seeing him feeling angry and frustrated from the problems caused by himself.


Edited by sweet_summer (06/28/13 12:11 PM)