I can identify with so much of what you are saying. I recently had a "perfect storm" of events and stresses to bring ALL this anger that has been hiding to the forefront. I thought I had fully dealt with my abuse as a young child by an older boy through therapy and acceptance. Then I lost my relationship because I cheated on my girlfriend multiple times. I lost my summer job I was going to make thousands in a business disagreement that I could have avoided. After that I got into an argument with my roommate that got so heated I bloodied my fists on a wooden cabinet. This is no way to be and I am afraid the next time will be worse.
The worst part is, I have accepted it as my past and I know it happened, and I can recall it even discuss it (not the details) with others. But I did not realize how angry I still am. It was like a baseball bat to the head. It's so prominent that I don't know how I will ever let go of it. It is so frustrating and paralyzing to think that.