I've had a couple of experiences this week that have been very troubling.

the first one came from my oldest son. he'll be 23 in august. I sent him a friend request on FB. instead of ignoring it, like my second oldest, he chose to send a very nasty and hateful death threat. it included a promise to do additional harm if I reported the threat to the authorities.

I, of course, did report it. FB has removed his profile. he lives in CO and I live in MI.

at the police station, the assisting officer asked if we could contact my son. the only way to do that was to call my ex-wife. she not only refused to help me, but also refused to help the cop. she said any and everything my son did was justifiable and right. the policeman called her an enabler for my son's anger.

the policeman turned it over to the FBI. it's not resolved yet. i'm stressed to the max. my son could be facing jail time and certainly some court ordered anger management.

I can't understand how someone would hate so much. even with what I've been through, I just can't wrap my head around it.

Then the DOMA and Prop 8 were tossed out by the SC. someone on my husband's side of the family posted a hate message on FB. she wanted everyone to like or share a posting from Nit-wit Romney about traditional marriage - one woman & one man.

the strange thing about that is she's not even married to my husband's brother. they're just shacking up and have no plans to get married. I found her posting hateful and hurtful.

I wanted to call her out on FB but decided to just send her a private message to let her know how much it bothered me.

I've spent my entire life being hated and used. I've grown weary from the fight. with the SC's decisions, it opens a whole new world of fighting, debate and conflict.

i'm tired of being treated as second class because i'm not like 'straight' people.

i'm pissed and i'm NOT going to take it any more. i'm not sure where that will take me, but I vow this moment to be a MUCH louder voice when speaking out against the injustices in this society. damn it, i'm mad.

unfortunately these set backs have put a damper on my being able to work on my book. I was hoping to get back to it on the 27th. now i'm not sure i'll be able to until I get some resolution on the issue with my 'sister-in-law' and possibly my son.

i'm really surprised that these things have had such an impact on me. I NORMALLY just let things go. i'm frustrated with myself of allowing the hurt in. i'm disappointed in myself for allowing these issues to consume me to this level.

but - and I'm hoping - this is all part of the healing process. after writing this, i'm convinced that it is. I've been wronged on so many levels - robbed of so many precious childhood joys. to be hated and threatened now just isn't something i'm willing to let go.

someone has to speak up for me. some tough love has to be applied (to me and from me). the healing continues - no matter the cost - no matter the volume of hurt and pain.

i'll make it to see the next day - and GD it, the day after that too - regardless of the SOB's that want to stand in my way.
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If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.