Hi nolan
it is a powerful story man and all that you are feeling are very typical feelings for those of us abused as kids. you have come to a very safe place to talk about those things, to find resources, to just chill with people who understand. I hope you will find a great experience of healing here. feel free to message me if I can help at all.
jeff
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Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney