This is nothing new for me, but it just occurred to me that I could post here about it.

Last night my two early teen sons and my wife were all tickling each other and playing. This has been going on for, well, I guess over ten years now.

I don't know how to describe it. Just one person tickling another, I guess and then that one trying to get revenge. And I think someone being tickled is trying not to laugh.

The whole thing gets to me: the touching, the trying not to laugh and then laughing, the way things get rougher and I can't tell if someone wants to stop or to keep playing. (It really looks like both wanting to stop and wanting to keep on and it totally freaks me out.)

I used to ask them to stop, but they didn't. And besides, why should I stop their fun? Instead, I leave the room. They have fun, and I'm not a part of it. Can't even stand to be near it and WISH I could go somewhere where I don't even hear it.

It happened last night, and, like I say, for them it was just fun. For me, though, I'm still trying to get over it.
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"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy