Rest is one word that I've been hearing everywhere and it's safe too say it's something I desperately need. This past year has been one of severe transition for me; all across the board.
I am not going to go into great detail but I will say this has been the hardest time for me since being abused. This is the reason,why I've joined Malesurvivor. I can't do it by myself; I am not strong enough.
I struggle with finding inner peace and being able too relax. I need rest more than anything right now. I am recovering from an automobile accident. My strength is not what it use too be and my mobility is limited. However, I do see slight improvements.
What hurts the most is that I am so lonely. Not just in person but in spirit. I try everyday too obtain a form of rest. Wheather it be by doing less but staying within a obtainable goal. Only listening too postive news. Viewing either the sun rise or sun set. Maintaining constant communication with my family via Facebook or comming too Malesurvivor too make friends.Friends that I want and friends that I need.
I know that I am in physical pain but I am also in spiritual pain and I know that's why I can't rest. I guess what I am trying too say is "I am tired of suffering and struggling." I need positive and caring people in my life. I wish the people of Malesurvivor could see how big my smile gets when we chat and how much I cry when we're in H.C.
I honestly feel, the only reason why I've been able to shut my eyes is because of the strength so many of the brothers have giving me.
I made a promise too myself way back in Febuary after my automobile accident. I am going too do the most growing and healing that I've ever done in my life this year. I believe fully, that it starts here with Malesurvivor.
I am going too tell my story and listen too others. I am going too reach out and I want too make friends for life. Not just friends via chat but in person. I am not going too be afraid too express my emotions and cry like a baby or someone in pain. Because I know form a short time being here, no one will hurt me but only help me.
It feels so good too know that your welcomed and loved. To have a brother call out your name and say "I am here for you;talk too me." and too have someone stay up with you, until you fall asleep because the pain is so great.
Because of you great men, I am beginning too understand that I can live a fully functionion life. I can express my emotions, make friends, love, pursue goals, and accept myself.
I don't know where must people stand in terms of spirituality or Karma but I would like too ask for a request and I am sure all of you know what it is. I need REST and so do all of us.