I just found out that my husband was molested by his 4 years older sister when he was litte.

My husband has never told anyone about the incident before and I don't think he was even planning to tell me. One night we were arguing about some other stuff he just blurt out this horrible event in his life. I am so shocked.

I have known my husband for 6 years. When I first met him, he was an easy-going guy with a great sense of humor. After we got married (for almost 4years now) I started to see some parts of him that he only shows to his closest friends/family. He has a extremely short fuse, gets unbelievably angry very fast, seemed depressed a lot of the times, and doesn't think he is good enough for a lot of things and eager to show off if there is anything he can brag about. But on the surface, he is still that easy going guy.

For the longest time, he has told me that he doesn't have the greatest relationship with his family, especially with his mom and sister. I was confused about this because when I met them, I can say they might not be the traditional loving family but they do love each other and they are all seemed "normal" (hard to define normal but seemed normal enough)..

And now everything makes sense.

He said he doesn't remember when and how many times it exactly had happened but he remember that his sister had already gone through puberty........so he must have been 6 or 7 years old when it happened. He didn't want to talk about it but basically just said his sister raped him. They have another brother in the family and he doesn't know if he also got molested or not.

Nobody, I mean NO ONE knows about this besides me. He has never told anyone. He was once suggested to have anger management therapy session around 13 and he didn't tell his therapist either. His mom doesn't know about this so growing up when he react weirdly (too old to wet the bed..etc) all she did was blame him, threaten him and belittle him. So he has never gotten the support he should have received.

I don't know how to digest this information. I feel like I want to say I understand this happened but I "feel" like he was talking about someone else. It is just so surreal. He was so calm when he told me about this and me on the other hand can not stop crying. I feel so sad for him to have to go through this alone.

I am just so mad at his sister. I want to call her up and yell at her about the horrible thing she has done to her family. And warn everyone so that she is not molesting her own children and the students she's teaching (she works at an elementary school)

I don't know how to support him and He seemed to not want to talk about this anymore. And now we are planning to have children and I don't know if this will effect him in anyway? Any advise is appreciated.


Edited by acj32 (05/16/13 10:07 PM)