Quote:
[/quote]How many times do you have to die
and keep on livingquote]



... a most intriguing question. I have been thinking about this since you posted. For most people, we have these events that happen in our lives simply as a course of being. It alters our path a bit, but we adjust and move on. We deal with near fatal accidents, or illness, we have people we love leave our sphere of existence. We accommodate our emotions and our behavior and we continue forth. Those things are a part of the natural course of living, we just deal.

And then for others, like survivors of sexual assault, a part of us does die. How many times depends upon, I suppose, the depth of the emotional and spiritual damage that has been done. It depends, I would think, upon the amount of violence that lended itself to the assault(s).

I am not a fellow of theology nor psychology, so this is just the op of an ordinary man who has had some "extraordinary" happenings. I feel that a part of me died when I was young. Numerous times. I discovered a new me, a new way, and then as I became older, that me died, and I had to reinvent me again. Each time I was abused, a part of me altered- or died. It had been this way throughout my youth. Each time, each older male, destroyed a part of me that was and I continued to live. Throughout all of life's major events.

But it has been my experiences, and based solely on my experiences only, which is cool because then I can't be wrong... that there does come a time when what you are does die, even as you live, and to reinvent yourself becomes to difficult. That is the wall I have encountered recently. Some fellows encounter and live through alternative personalities. Some fellows become addicted to whatever eases that pain. Some dissociate as often as is necessary for their survival in a world which doesn't understand. Some of us become numb to the feelings of emotions.

So back to the immediate question of how many times do you have to die and keep on living? The possibilities are as endless as the days of a man's life. Not infinite, but endless none the less.

Thanks for question Shyshark. It made me think. And it helps me to see that no matter how many times I have "died", I do want to keep on living.
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.