@Cant, there's a song called The Lightning tree which you might appreciate given your tree analogy. Here's a version of it from youtube though personally i find this version a bit too fast and jolly for my liking, (when I first heard the song it was a lot slower and more contemplative), still i do appreciate the Trees that the UPLOADER has put in the background of the video.
One thing I've learnt from recovery is that emptiness is reflective, and the more you look for nothing the more nothing you end up finding.

It's difficult, and I certainly have far too many moments of darkness myself, but letting just! those moments defign who and what I am is not a path I choose to follow anymore, which is why I'm still hear after five years refusing to accept nothing.