I just got hit with the awful news that my husband was molested when he was a child. It's horrible and I hurt for him, but I know we can move forward from this with the proper help. The issue I am having is that I also found out that he in turn victimized two family members. He has blocked out details of what happened with one, but remembers the other.
I haven't been given details of any of the abuse. I have a million questions and I hope I will get the chance to ask them and to get answers.
I know logically that victims of abuse sometimes will act out and abuse a child when they are young, but I just can't wrap my mind around this. I hurt for the victim he was, but I want to vomit when I think of him hurting someone else.
Another issue is that we still see my husband's abuser at family gatherings and now that I know this, there is no way I can be in the same room with him without tearing his face from his head. No one in his family knows what happened, so I'm not sure how we are going to explain my absence from family events in the future.
Maybe I'm jumping the gun on some things here but it's all very raw and I can think of nothing else right now. I can't work. I can't do my schoolwork. I'm sick.
There was horrible abuse in my mother's family when she was growing up so its not a foreign concept to me. I just don't know how to process this information. How to look at my husband and not see a monster. Maybe I don't know him at all.
Anyone else who has been in this particular situation, I would appreciate your insight.