you are not stupid. And, your husband has to take ownership and WANT to change. Action speaks louder than words. So, while forgiveness is always desired, there is a natural consequences for one's behavior.
Maybe if he see's your seriousness and expectation for change, that he's gotta stop and make those changes, maybe he'll change. You aren't suppose to be a martyr for the cause, we should only be a loving supporter. But, if he's not putting forward the true work to change, you both may need to reassess what the expectation of your marriage is to be, moving forward. I hope and pray things get better for you both. Bill
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Forgiving does not always mean everything goes back to the way it was. There are still natural consequences for what was done.