Long time, no see.
I even sat in my Celebrate Recovery meeting last Tuesday, felt the same thing, and had a one-on-one with a group leader after.
I admitted I felt defeated. Again and again, I'll go to meetings, have stuff be churned up, will feel vulnerable......and internally will be screaming "NO!! Get BACK! GO AWAY!" I realized this, had to dump it. I'm in this d*** spiral again.
A BIG part of this is the little boy in me is saying "Daddy, are you there....for me? Are you? Are you?"