many aspects of your story resonate within me.
without going into details, please know this...
our actions and reactions are as varied as our individual circumstances.
as you read the other stories here, in time you will discover the common thread we all share.
you will find yourself between the lines of every other survivor here. i did, and still do.
i recommend you start here...http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=282443&an=1#Post282443
i urge you to take your time.
some people here are very sensitive and some words will hurt you.
be gentle. be honest.
be real. be careful.
be kind. be resilient.
beware of trap doors and triggers.
behave with respect.
believe in your value.
become your potential.
i welcome you.
p.s. you can message in private whenever you feel the need