Parental over-control is pretty common among us South Asians, so much so that they don't consider it immoral. Everybody seems to have just accepted it as the normal thing to do. Even my relatives look down on me for not settling down and giving my parents an early retirement. It has gotten to the point that I don't talk to many of them any more. There are days I don't like myself much and I really can't afford to have them guilting me.
I've started another journal. I vowed to keep this one until all the pages are filled. I just keep reminding myself that I am allowed to have private thoughts.
As far as 'love' goes, I've never looked at it in the way you put it, Keith. Since it is subjective, why not start with what love is not instead of what it is! Seems like the 'love' I feel towards my parents is driven by 3 things on your 'not' list. I've never expected anything from them or asked them things in the name of love. I just keep thinking they should be decent enough to return that same unconditional affection towards me.
I think this issue is going to plague my mind for a little longer. Haven't been able to sleep much lately because of it.
Thanks again for the support, guys. I will use your words to fuel me against my self-doubts.
"We're not broken, just bent. And we can learn to love again!"