as far as i am concerned, i only have two addictive problem behaviours left.
marijuana and masturbation.

i know, in my heart, from decades of repetition, they are not healthy for me.

i always feel better when i abstain, i always feel worse after i indulge. yet, i am unable to maintain total abstinence, because the secret part of me feeds on the pure pleasure.

that is the confusing nature of addiction.
i know, without doubt, that these activities are a betrayal of all i hold sacred. my marriage, my family, my faith.
i cannot eliminate or avoid temptation, only resist it.

there are no physical solutions to spiritual problems.
Romans 7:19 "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing." - apostle Paul
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry