Focused, can relate to both points - about the 'friend', and issues with the mother.
A bit off-topic I guess, but my ex was well into this psychic, past-lives kind of thing and it did some real damage to my sense of logic...it took quite a lot of time to recover mentally for sure.
I can also understand what you mean about taking things slowly. I think you know from my post a few weeks earlier about 'forgiveness'...I had tried the karate-chop method trying to do things abruptly and it ended up being some sort of mental bombshell. The dependency and the covert incest - I think it's so difficult because it's after all the person who gave birth to you. It's just so crazy. There might be some sort of biological/genetic thing inside us that wants to love our parents unconditionally, but that I think also comes at the expense of emotional and mental health...recipes for a vicious cycle.
The ratio of good to bad people in this world will always be tipped in favor of the latter. Always. But that ratio in your own social circle, you can control. And there, and only there, can the balance be favorably tipped, so that those who love you far outnumber those who don't.