Hello everyone,
I would like to introduce myself and give a little background to what bring me here. First I am happy there is a forum like this for us. I stumbled on this while looking for a therapist.
I am 43yrs old and was victemized by a babysitter when I was 5yrs - 6yrs old. I have had repressed dreams of the abuse every since the abuse happened. Until the past few months I have not come out about the abuse to anyone. A few months ago I woke up in a cold sweat and a massive anxiety attack. I thought I was having a heart attack and all I could remember was the nightmare. This panic attack lasted for 2 weeks. I talked with my wife and my Dr. and finially my therapist. I was put on some meds to bring me down and get the anxiet under control. Like many others I have made some very distructive choices in my life that shouls have ended my marriage and I have found that at least a large part of them can be directly attributed to the abuse and my stunted cognative ability to cope and gave me a need to rebel against accountability and to self distruct my relationships. I have been very fortunate to have the understanding and support of my Wife in facing this part of my life. I am very early in my treatment and I know I have some serious demons to face. I look forward to being a part of this community and walking thru this part of my life with you all.

Thank you for giving me a place to emotionally vomit safely and without judgement.

Sincerely,
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Rejoice in the Lord always! I will say it again Rejoice!!!