Hi Bobcat, we've talked in chat and I get u, suicide thoughts and all. I hve been in T since October, and I hve learned we all hve different stories but shared hurts. There are a lot of good people here, and u can count me as an MS friend if you're down for that. I think we can all help each other heal. Im finding T is tough, but good. Also learned now that I was never defined by it or them. So now it's something I went through, not who I am. Have a lot of work to do but am moving forward. So welcome Brother!