Coming out about the abuse has been a great relief, ........and that my past actions can be attributed to it, although if I had been able to talk to my wife or anyone else about it, life may been very different.
Yes coming out is both a relief and taking on a burden that sometimes seems impossible. But there are many of us here prepared to help with the load. So much of my own bad choices in life I now understand are the result of my CSA. I also sometimes wonder, "what if...." but there's no use going down that road. We have to deal with life on life's terms, and that means facing EVERYTHING
. But what a blessing that your wife has stuck with you. Some of us were not so lucky. Be well, and stay in touch. We've got your back.