3
Daddyís gone.
Whereís Daddy?
In heaven.
With Jesus?
Yes.
Jesus and Daddy donít play with me.
I canít see them.
They are too far away.
I miss my Daddy.

6
Do I want a new daddy?
Yes!
I remember my first Daddy a little.
He was nice.
He played with me.
I loved him.
. . .
This new daddy isnít good.
He doesnít play nice.
He hurts me.
He makes me feel funny -
(- I mean bad.)
Heís not my real daddy.

12
I donít understand
whatís happening to me,
how I feel sometimes,
the weird, scary dreams,
my body, my mind, my emotions Ė
- all out of control,
why he treats me that way,
why other guys do those things to me?
I donít like the way they make me feel.
I just wonít feel any thing any more.
Iíll go where they canít reach me.

15
I thought it was over Ė
- but it isnít.
I thought I was safe Ė
- but Iím not.
Itís been a couple of years Ė
- now itís happening again,
but this time with a stranger.
How does he know?
How can he tell?
There must be something wrong with me.
I canít let anyone know.

23
Child abuse?
Yeah Ė Iíve heard of it.
Itís a shame Ė
- but I had a pretty normal
childhood growing up:
two parents, nice house,
upper-middle-class.
All the perks.
It must be really awful.
Abused? Ė Not me!
But Ė I donít really want to have children.
And Ė I sometimes feel really weird about sex.
That must be just something wrong with me.

33
Depressed, hopeless, suicidal,
failing, unable to function,
isolating, uncommunicativeÖ
How can I be both numb Ė
- and also hurt so bad?
Pressed into therapy,
I open my mouth and it all spills out Ė
- bitter, stinking, burning as vomit,
- but flat as reading the phone book.
I canít believe itÖ
I was abused!
I guess Iíve known what happened all along Ė
- but I couldnít bring myself to call it that.
Now Iím re-calling the details.
I can no longer run away,
or hide,
or tell myself it didnít happen,
or call it something else.
And now I can no longer
refuse to feel the emotions
of all the memories
of all the ages:
3, 6, 12, 15, 23, 33.
I canít do this any more.
I am finished.
Iím OK now.

But wait Ė thereís more Ė thereís 60Ö

- lee
4-24-13


Edited by traveler (04/24/13 09:08 AM)
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9