To fixate: Verb
Cause (someone) to acquire an obsessive attachment to someone or something: "fixated on photography".
Acquire such an obsessive attachment to: "it is important not to fixate on animosity"
Think deeply or focus for a time for spiritual purposes or to relax. Think deeply or carefully about (something).
I find I fixate on negative, shocking, traumatizing things while I know I can resolve these by creating a plan of action and then working through the plan. The problem is I do not have any PROOF that the plan will work, so I go back to fixating.
Fixating sucks the energy from my positive acts. I can do three of four positive things for myself and others, then literally become destroyed by fixating on abusive actions.
I have seen some success in meditating, but no pill, no drink and no coping mechanism can work through fixating. I have to resolve the fixating, but I was never taught how.
I want to know how. I am beginning it understand that I can react appropriately when a situation arises. I want that.