Originally Posted By: jay75
Not sure if this is the right place for this but im throwing it out there anyway. I have been comming to terms with my CSA now for a year, I have for the most part left my church. The more I dig into my past and make strides in my "recovery" the further I pull away.My family still attends but I will not allow myself to go. I think its possible that I was searching for peace when I was an avid church goer, a peace i never found. Now I feel judged even though no one knows my past perhaps dirty. I am finding inner peace with myself and WHO I AM, but there seems to be no room for god in it all. I now know my cries for help were never answered and i feel my prayers fell on deaf ears. Im not sure what im looking for in this thread maybe insight or another point of view. I am in a good place now thanks to my wife, a year ago I didnt see a way through the fog.

Has anyone else found faith unnecessary after they started to heal?


Yes. I feel the same way. I don't believe in God, and I'm learning that letting that go has taught me to take agency for my own healing and not expect miracles that never happened.

A belief in God helps a lot of people here, but it is not correct when people say God is the only way to find peace. There's a lot of different conceptions of God and a lot of people who are smart, well-adjusted atheists. And this comes from someone who was an evangelical Christian for thirty years.

So no, you are not alone.
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.