For much if my life after csa and bullying, I had a fear of men in general. I never felt comfortable being in the same car with a man older than myself, or even in any sort of close proximity. I just could not get my emotions to trust that there would not necessarily be abuse of any kind involved. I was in my 40's before completely overcoming this.
Could it be that you have a fear of men?
If someone throws trash on my lawn and drives away, it is mine to deal with. I make the decision whether to collect it or take responsibility for cleaning it up. We are the sum of our choices. For some, these were thrust upon us at an age when we were not qualified to take such resposibility. R.J.