This is a wonderful, beautiful realization, Bill. You're making such amazing progress, which makes sense since you did a good job of recovering from the CSA once already. But it took my breath away because a (male) friend of mine, when feeling a bit down, had once written a whole essay about.... the Velveteen Rabbit, and how it can hurt to "become real" but its worth it. You've inspired me to ask him to send it to me again - would be interesting to see common themes.
"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny