I'm sorry I didn't read part 1 which cleared up a lot of what you're going through.
Genedebs - This is one reason I cannot believe in religion and why god was left in bed with the johns. People will alway bring up that our religion, and any religion for that matter, tells us to forgive is like you say a mitzvoh. What I say to that is "bullshit". If someone didn't have the decency to acknowledge that anything even happened it's not even worth pissing on their grave. I left my parents when I was 12 (I am 62 now). I felt bad for them 6 years ago because of their failing health. So I built and extension to my house for an apartment for them and moved them up to NY from FL five years ago.My mother is the same ways as when I was 12. It was one of the worst things that happened in my life. I have to relive my childhood every day, the childhood that I had run away from. She has never changed and she never will.
That goes the same for 4life. I'm stuck with my parents who are 98 and 93. 4life or anyone else should not have to go through that or go to any funerals that will put him in contact with his abusers. He has a life and it doesn't include anything that will put him in an uncomfortable position. Fuck'm!!!
I will not make comments about anyone's religion and especially if they are religious people, I respect them even though I don't agree with them always. But I think that 4life has a choice and that choice shouldn't cause any more grief by pulling the forgive and forget card on him with some religion.
My parents never knew what happened to me since the age of 9 till 18 so I cannot feel the pain 4life is going through but me personally would not show up for any of their funerals. Like bodyguard said that at this point it should be a choice and not a necessity especially for csa non-believers.
I will go to my mother's funeral just to watch them bury someone who has tormented me and my family. I will ask them to dig the grave an extra foot down just to make sure that she is finally out of my life. I will watch every shovel of dirt thrown on her box and say amen
. I always said that I would piss on her grave but I don't think I have the balls to do that
4life - Do not go to the funeral, they all don't deserve your presence especially the one in the hole
good luckPeace, Rainbows, Love & HealingJeff