Thank you, all! It is nice to hear this is just a chapter and not the whole story, as I believe his abuse and horrible choices are a piece of him, but not all of him. These days it is just harder and harder to see the man I married. He speaks of being in a very dark place. It is all just so confusing. Do I leave for my pride and to say that I wouldn't allow that to keep happening to me? Although, what would I gain? Pride, but not be with the person I love? Or do I wait this out in the hopes he will eventually get help? even then, that is no guarantee that there won't be relapses? I am just soooooo tired. It's been hell for about 2.5 years........