hey Farmer Boy,
I think you're absolutely right about needing to set boundaries in order to protect yourself. You nail it when you say these kind of incestuous relationships are really toxic, and setting boundaries is so crucial. I've been wishy washy about this (as you can probably see in my moody posts), but I think after all I've said previously on this thread, I'm coming to the conclusion that the only way to set boundaries with my mother is to rupture the relationship completely, if not severely. It's a s***** thing to have to do with the person who brought you into this world, but I think it's necessary for sanity and some level of happiness, something all of us deserve.
Hope things go well with your recovery.