Hi Mike. It's not adequate for me to say "I'm sorry" to hear about the abuse you suffered at the hands of your mother. Nothing could be adequate. There are no words for that. I'm sorry though, for what it's worth.

If there really is anybody out there who would call you "lucky" for having been sexually abused by your own mother, then they are among the sickest of human beings. Someone would have to be truly evil to believe something like that. I hope no one has ever said anything like that to you and if they have, kudos to you for not busting teeth out of their mouth. If anyone has ever said anything like that to you and you did bust teeth out of their mouth, kudos for that too.

Almost all of the sexual trauma that I endured as a child came from girls outside of my family circle. From some teenagers when I was about 8 and from a girl not much older than me from 8-13 or so. A lot of guys would hear that and say, "Damn, that's HOT! I wish I had been molested by chicks when I was blah, blah, blah....etc." Whatever. Fuck them. They don't know what I went through. They don't know what it did to me.

When it comes to the girl who was not much older than me, I don't really know whether to call her relationship with me sexual abuse or just sexual bullying. At some point in the next week or two I plan on posting about it more in depth though. I have to get some of this crap off of my chest. I want to understand why this relationship that I was supposedly so "lucky" to have had screwed me up so badly. Not that anyone here or anyone in the world can answer that question for sure. Take care. Peace,

Ken