Hey rev rant, welcome to Male Survivor!
I'm sorry that you have to be here and that you went trough so much
At least you are at right place in search for additional support, stories about healing and friendship of fellows survivors.
It needed a lot of courage to write your story, my hat goes off to you because of that
Many of us are left confused, our borders were shattered, we were brought to sexuality much earlier than it is normal and it left long lasting scars.
Please take your time for slowly exploring this site. Take care for yourself as sometimes it can be overwhelming and too much to take.
Be aware that many of us have problems with confusion (starting with myself) and there is no need to be ashamed because of that.
You are not alone