my wife shared with me that my uncle had died. She had heard about it the week before but my children and siblings asked her not to share it with me as we were on our way to see our daugther and husband for their 1st year anniversary. When she told me, I was calm but had a number of feelings roll around in my head and heart.
My first feeling was "finally, he'll have to be face God for his actions!" my second was he'll never know the peace he needed to forgive himself and move past his own abuse and eventual self destructive behavior.
For me, I felt a compelling need to forgive him and did so in a letter. I pointed out that I understood that he had been victimized a lot as a child and that he didn't have to loeth himself and continue to harm others.
I posted a note of acknowledgement of his death on a social media network that I participate on. It was neither cryptic nor expose' but rather a heartfelt condolence given to his children and grandchildren.
However, upon reading my post after it was posted, I came to realize that it did invoke an emotional hostility, I wasn't prepared for. So, I am feeling pulled in two directions. A feeling of vindication and a feeling of remorse, in either case, I'm not feeling any peace.
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Forgiving does not always mean everything goes back to the way it was. There are still natural consequences for what was done.