I don't f*cking know right now. The feelings are all outside the black box, the source is still wrapped up inside. Sometimes I feel like I remember less but hurt more as time goes on.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.