Thanks for the replies. I am ready to deal with this stuff and my post was a beginning. I have problems with physical affection, physical play, physical touch, none of it sexual. I've avoided it for too long. I can admit that I need it and start there. I've tried to avoid what I need.
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And more, much more, the heart may feel,
Than the pen may write or the lip reveal.
Winthrop Mackworth Praed