Hello Concerned Husky! I don't understand why you would expect anger from others for anything you said. If anything, I find your attitude quite inspirational and healthy. It takes a very strong person to come to the conclusions you've come to and to forgive, even when those you have to forgive are the ones that brought you into this world.

It's not quite the same thing, but I can relate to some of what you're saying because of my issues with my father. No, my father did not sexually abuse me in any way but in the earlier part of my childhood he was physically and emotionally abusive. (My CSA was not from parents/family.) In my preteen years he started to mellow out a lot but I was still TERRIFIED of him. The T I went to in my late teens thought it was essential that I confront him about his old abusive behaviors but I never did and never have, to this day. I spent a lot of years secretly hating him but have since learned to forgive, even without having confronted him. Only in recent years would I say he and I have a "good father-son relationship" and I am now 38. Forgiveness is possible, and is healthy, I think.

Having said all that, I'm not going to say confronting your mother is a bad idea. It may be the best thing you could possibly do but that doesn't mean it's 100% necessary. Also, there is always the chance it could backfire and that she could react with nothing but anger and denial. You probably know her better than almost anyone though, so you probably already know how strong a possibility such a reaction is. If you think a severely negative reaction is a strong possibility, then quiet forgiveness is probably the best path, if you can ultimately get to it. Good luck. Stay strong. Peace.

Ken


Edited by BraveFalcon (03/08/13 07:33 PM)