So I can relate to some of your situation. I'm 28 and have been with my H for 5 years. Drinking has always been an issue for him. However when I. Look back over the last 5 years he has made loads of progress and the drinking has slowed way down. However H has never called me names for used the f*ck word with me. I'm pretty positive he has never cheated. We live in a small town and if he did it would get back to me. He is just now starting to mention his csa to friends and admit how much it has impacted him.
But despite all the progress it is still hard as hell. I'm a survivor who went through years of therapy before meeting H. When I met him I was pretty sure he had been abused but kept it to myself. I figured with my background I. Would handle things just fine. Haha yeah well I feel like I bit off more than I can chew a lot of the time.
So to answer your question if I. Could go back in time and choose a different guy would I.? Most days I. Say no but somedays I. Find myself asking what the f*ck was I thinking? I love H with all I have but sometimes I feel like its not enough. And if H ever became or had been abusive towards me in anyway I would have left him. No question in my mind yes I would run. To me your situation sounds totally abusive. If I were you I would have been gone awhile ago.
But hey I. Can't tell you how to live your life. I. Feel that living with survivor who is making progress is very painful at times but can be worth it. However living with one who refuses to grow is impossible and destructive for you as well. If you leave it doesn't mean you don't love him it just means that you love yourself too.
Edited by HD001 (03/08/13 05:14 PM)
Everything comes from within