Quote:
Why is it that every male,I meet, I feel they expect me to blow them?


This is PTSD. You can be helped a lot with this by discussing it with a good therapist.

The military has made progress in learning how to help a guy who has returned from a war-zone with PTSD. His PTSD might consist of mentally re-enacting a the trauma of being in a military vehicle and driving over a mine. Maybe he sees things that register on his brain as strong trauma. He relives it over and over.

The same kind of process happens to us who are victims of sexual trauma. It gets "stamped" in our brain and we relive it over and over. We "read" it into the actions of others. When we are in situations that suggest our original trauma, then it triggers the whole sequence of emotions over and over again. We want it to stop but we often need outside help.

I'm waiting for the knowledge gained from the military studies to be transferred to helping those who acquired PTSD from sexual trauma.

Puffer