Originally Posted By: Rosemary


I know it is not easy to hear this but get out while you can.


As a survivor, I think I have to agree with this. I hate when people talk about survivors as "damaged goods" and impossible to have a relationship with. That very much depends on the person. I've heard people say "your husband was abused? He'll drain you, get out!" That is incredibly unfair.

But this situation is different. The issue here is not really about what happened to him, but rather how he is dealing with it. You deserve to be with someone who thinks you are special. You deserve to be with someone who will keep promises. You deserve to be with someone who will not threaten you. You deserve to be with someone who is not verbally abusive.

You may love him, but abusive relationships only lead to two unhealthy people. That is not going to help him.

I would suggest that if nothing else, YOU go see a therapist. The cycle the two of you are in is a bad one, and while getting help and considering leaving is hard, keeping things the way they are is only going to cause more pain for *both* of you in the long run. If you care about him, take care of yourself.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.