Sorry you need to be here, but am glad you made it this far. Your story of your CSA is yours alone, but the consequences you've lived with sound alot like mine and many others here.
Anytime you need to talk, publicly or privately, there's always someone here for you. We aren't therapists but we all "get it" and support each other. Be well buddy, you've got 11,000 guys watching your back.
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."Pink Floyd