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While he was telling me, he was a wreck, breathing faster, staring into the distance looking scared, fidgeting, curling up, and crying.

That's pretty good. It took me two hours to finally say "I was sexually abused as a child". I could barely say the words. It was like I had marbles in my mouth. And that was all I got out.

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He's starting to tell me how he should have stopped it and should have known better.

And the majority of the guys here have the same unreasonable thought.

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He feels ashamed at being 'curious' about men, as he put it and that he thinks he may have suggested things during his abuse.

And this is quite normal as well.

Tell him to stop beating himself up. If he is reluctant about therapy then at least direct him here. Maybe he could get some of the negative thoughts out of his head.

And you should take it easy otherwise your head is going to explode. smile It's great he has you. But if you make yourself sick over this then you can't help him.

And by the way. You did great.