Thank you, deerhntr. Those are my exact questions - am I being supportive or being an enabler or being a chump who is being manipulated because I do believe deep down that he doesn't want to lose me?
Thank you, everyone. When I first came to this website, I was terrified by all of the stories about infidelity. I knew it was coming and I've read a lot about CSA and understand where it's coming from. But it's not okay and he's not going to stop until he gets into therapy and I can't force him to do that.
Gretta, I read Should I Stay or Should I Go? last night and love the idea of a separation contract, but his behavior is still so erratic that I don't know if he can even stick to it. And I'm sure he'll agree to the "no dating" on paper but I don't believe it. So what does a contract even do if you can't trust that someone will hold up his end of the contract? Does getting it on paper and making things clear help make it more real? Will it give me the strength to set boundaries and stick to them?
I don't know if it's a sad or a beautiful thing that I still have hope that things will get better.