Well Pirate I think gender of abuser is probaby the difference, since while I experienced violence and humiliation at the hands of males, the most extreme s/xual stuff was very much perpetrated by females, and of course genophobia doesn't help either.
Right now I'm at the point where I can accept a hug provided myself and a woman are fully clothed and provided I'm standing upright, but submitting to touch around the body or torso area would not be fun, heck, I'd not be too! keen even with a male in that sense.
As I said though it does seem to be something that is moulding to pressure, if slowly. Indeed, I think my genophobia and fears connected with physical exposure (I can't have anyone see me in less than a T shirt), might go the same way if I ever did meet someone.