So I guess this is a question for someone who has come out on the other side. With seeing a therapist (once or twice a week) and confronting your abuser, how long did it take you to exit the BIG flames, i.e. get to a point of normalcy again- My beloved is having a hard time dealing so he's started smoking cigarettes (I've never known him to be a smoker and we've been together for 2.5 years), he went out and had a bender last week in the afternoon and was sick for our date night (he's never been a big drinker and always looks forward to our evenings because we have tough schedules), he talks in his sleep (this happens when he's under extreme stress), we tried to have a night out for the first time in a while (a while being about a month) and it was not successful. He became very overwhelmed almost immediately and we had to come home and go straight to bed. If I didn't get him up this morning I am confident he would have stayed in bed all day and probably will after his T session today. I understand he is going through a hard time- well more than hard- he's going through hell. It's getting really hot in here for me too. I can't talk about it with him because it makes him feel worse than he already does. I guess the question I am asking is how long did this extreme inferno last with therapy for some of you or your loved ones? (guesstimation) I just want him back! :-( This is so hard!!!! I hate this! I feel that if I have an estimated time period how long I have to last I'll stop thinking that we won't survive this as a couple and I can just focus on being a supporter instead of trying to predict the crap I'll have to endure for what seems like forever. I did order a book that a friend, who's an LMFT, recommended to me. It's coming in the mail. Anything would help at this point- even some words of encouragement. I literally have no one to talk to about this.