It's really simple, actually. He refused ALL gifts. Made it clear he didn't want it. He set a boundary. So you gave the gift he didn't want - and something that is very personal too - to one of his abusers behind his back... You not only violated a boundary he set very clearly and unequivocally ("NO GIFTS"), you also colluded with and shared a secret with his abuser behind his back.

My question is this - why did you want so badly to have the pillow in his family that you even went to the extreme of enlisting his abusive mother's help? He made it clear he didn't want it, so it wasn't for him. So why? What was your goal?
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

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